Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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