why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
