halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
