He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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