is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
