return my video game
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
