I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
