if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I came so hard my ears popped.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
