YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
