I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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