Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I am midnight drunk by noon
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize