he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
