do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
