can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
