You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize