Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
