We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
