Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
