Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
