Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
