so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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