He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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