thus making me awesome and them whores
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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