Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Terrible idea I love it
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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