I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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