I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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