I think scott just propositioned me for sex
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
