I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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