My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
