I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
