Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
