don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize