she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
