the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
