Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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