if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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