good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
