Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
