i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
