He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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