What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
