so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
