I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
