Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
