I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
