...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
