On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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