Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
