My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
false alarm, still single
Let the clothes fall where they may.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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