just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
