i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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