She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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