Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
