it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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