he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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