That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
