i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
