God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
