Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
