She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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