She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize