She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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