just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
