he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
