But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i now understand why vodka
I love you.
Bad choice
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize